By Jimmy Ness
and originally written for Passionweiss
DJ Khaled
should worry about new ideas, instead of new friends. He needs a crew that
brings creative criticism to the studio rather than codeine. The “DJ” has used
the same technique to make music for seven records- cram a bunch of relevant
artists on a track with a “cinematic hook” and let the power of their
popularity sell the record. Khaled’s first release Listennn…the album had an
intro with over 24 guest features in less than two minutes. Who really needed
to hear a song featuring Pitbull, Nas and Bone Thugs N Harmony performing
together?
Seven years
later, Khaled bin Abdul Khaled still hasn’t learnt his lesson. “No New Friends”
sounds like a b-side to “Bitches Love Me,” and was probably made during the
same session. Drake sings the melodramatic hook over traditional understated production from BFFs “Boi-1da” and Noah “40” Shebib. He
mentions “Bitches Love Me” specifically during his bland raps and tries to drop
a hot line by saying “If I had a baby momma she would probably be richer than a
lot of you.” This line falls flat because a) It’s not very good and b) Drizzy
would never just have a “baby momma.” I bet five Birdman handrubs he would be
shopping for maternity underwear in the blink of an eye.
Rozay comes
along secondly and grunts a tepid verse, which only women’s rights groups will
bother paying attention to. Weezy also appears to drop a few throwaway verses
and the cycle of mediocrity is complete. Just in case there wasn’t enough star
power, an unaccredited Future pops up during the last few seconds of the track.
If Khaled is so concerned with keeping old friends, he should have thrown
T-Pain a scrap and let him sing the Gucci astronaut’s part. It’s not as if this
song could get any less memorable.
Four of the
most popular current artists, and still not a single reason to replay this
track? Blame Khaled. The true reason he has “No new friends” is because he’s
always shouting WETHEBEST and no one likes a braggart, especially if their
claims are blatantly untrue. If all of Khaled’s music is a movie like he
claims, this is definitely the Baby Geniuses 2 of rap.